I Need Help
by bandgeek333
Summary: Edward is have some feeling he has never had before. Will his best friend Japser be able to handle these feeling? Or will poor Edward be left in the cold? Read and find out! E/J rated m for a reason *wink*
1. Chapter 1

**So here is my very first Edward/Jasper story! I hope you all like it! **

_I had always known me. What I liked, who I liked and how I liked it. But _he_ threw everything out of wack and I don't know how to make things right. I need some serious help._

Edward POV

Monday morning has to be the worst day to wake up on. It was 6 am and my alarm was blaring in my ear. I hit the snooze button and rolled over and put the pillow over my head. After about ten minutes the alarm went off again.

"Edward get up! Time to get ready for school!" my mom yelled from downstairs. My little sister Alice cam bouncing in and onto my bed.

"Wake up! Wake up! Edward wake up!" she said over and over until I finally got up and threw her out of my room. It was the same thing everyday, and Mondays were always the worst.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I took a shower and tried to get my hair to do anything I wanted it to, with no such luck. After giving up I got dressed and went downstairs.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDWARD!" my family yelled as I came down the stairs. Oh yeah, today was my 17th birthday. Alice came over and gave me a giant hug. She was the size of a dancer, very small and petite, but she was strong.

"Happy birthday brother!" she said and handed me a package that looked like it had been wrapped by an award winning wrapper. I almost didn't want to ruin it. "Oh Edward just open it already!" she whined when I didn't open it right away.

"But Alice it looks so pretty I don't want to ruin it," I said as I looked up at her with big eyes.

"Just rip it open already!" she sounded almost aggravated. So I did. I ripped the paper off and inside was a box filled with different items. It had a lanyard keychain of my favorite NFL team, a pack of car air fresheners, cds, and other various items.

"Uh, thanks Alice," I said and she kissed my cheek with a big smile. I went and sat down at the kitchen table where my father sat reading the mornings news paper and drinking a cup of coffee.

"Good morning son, happy birthday," he said with a glance and a nod.

"Thanks dad," I said and started to grab one of the pancakes that had gotten set in front of me when my dad grabbed my hand. "What's wrong dad?"

"I think your mother and I should give you your present first," he said with a smile and looked up at my mom. She had a smile on her face.

"We should wait until after breakfast don't you think?" she said with that smile still on her face.

"I suppose your right dear. Edward finish your pancakes," he said and turned back to his paper. Breakfast went without any further conversation, only smiles were shared between my mother, father and Alice. And I couldn't take it any more.

"Why are you smiling at each other?" I finally said throwing my fork down.

"I think we should give him his present now," my mother said and got up from the table and ran upstairs. She came back down with a small packaged wrapped not as neatly as Alice's but still neat.

"Edward we love you so much! Happy Birthday!" she said and handed me the little box. I was a little confused now. Between Alice's box and my mothers I had no idea as to what was going on. I opened the box and inside there was a new shiny key.

"Mom, dad, what is this?" I asked even though I already had an idea as to what it was now. My father got up from the table and motioned for me to follow him. I got up and followed him to the front door and when he opened it there was my gift, no my car! My brand new silver Volvo with a big red bow on it. "Really!? A car?!" I said running to my car. With the key I still had in my hand I opened the driver's door and got it. It felt good. I turned towards my parents.

"Thank you!" I said. I got out and hugged them each and ran into the house. I ran into my room and grabbed my cell of the desk. I dialed my best friend Jasper's number. Everyday Jasper would pick me up before school in his parents car and we would go to school. But not today, now I have my own car. I have my own car!

"EDWARD! Happy birthday man!" he said as he answered his cell. I mumbled a thanks as I was getting my school stuff together. "ok so listen I am going to be like five minutes late picking you up," he said.

"That's totally cool man don't worry," I said already planning on picking him up. If I was going to do so I needed to leave like now to catch him before he left his own house. "ok ill see you in a few," I said an hung up quickly. I grabbed my stuff and ran down stairs. "Hey mom, dad, I'm going to go pick up Jasper for school," I said with the stupidest smile on my face.

"All right son, be careful," my father said as I walked out the door. I got into my car and adjusted all my mirrors and soon I was racing down the street towards Jasper's house.

I pulled up to his house and parked right in front. I got out and stood up against the passenger door until he came running out. When he did I don't think he noticed me at first. He walked right to his car and started to get in and stopped. He looked at me in shock.

"NO WAY!" REALLY?" he yelled and I smiled yet again that morning.

"Really!" I said, "I am totally driving today," I said and got in the drivers seat. He quickly got in the passengers seat and started messing with every button imaginable. I sped down then street towards the school. I wouldn't have told anybody, but I was nervous as I pulled into the parking lot with my new car. Everyone would be looking at me.

At my high school in Forks there weren't that many people who were so well off like my family was. So when I pulled into the parking lot with my brand new Volvo, all eyes were on me. Well except that guy, on no wait he just looked. *sigh* oh well.

I pulled into a spot and jasper and I got out of the car. "Birthday gift Edward?" Emmett said as he came up to us. Emmett was my other best friend. The three of us had been friends since before I can remember. It has always just been Emmett Jasper and me. That is until…

"Emmett!"

…Rosalie came to school.

"Emmett! Come over here!" she yelled and I looked at Emmett. He looked back at me apologetically and ran over to Rosalie. God! I hate her so much sometimes. We have never really seen eye to eye. And today she is taking my best friend from me on my birthday. Bitch.

"Come on Edward lets get to class," Jasper said pulling on my arm.

Classes went by pretty quick with almost every one pointing and talking about my car. It was annoying really. So what if my car was the nicest one in the lot. Do people really have to talk about it like it's the latest scandal?

The final bell rang loud in the hall ways signaling the end of the day. Jasper and I got up and walked out to my car. When we got there, there was a crowd of people surrounding it. "Alright everyone move! There is nothing to see here," I said as I unlocked my car.

"Edward this is your car?" someone said from the crowd.

"Yes, it is now please leave so I can leave," I said and shut the door. The crowd dispersed and we left. As I was driving Jasper was fidgeting a lot. "Jasper, something bothering you?"

"Uh, yeah actually there is. But I'm not sure I want to talk about it right now." he said and looked out the window.

"OK," I said, and kept driving. I pulled up to my house and Jasper still seemed to be in a weird mood. We got out of the car and after saying hello to my parents we went up to my room to do home work. We lay there on my bed doing our algebra when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper look over at me and sigh.

"Ok Jasper, spill."

"Spill what?" he said sitting up. I sat up too.

"What is bother you? This morning you were fine and happy, and now your not. What happened at school to make you so weird?" I asked and he stiffened.

"You'll hate me," he said and brought his knees to his chest.

"Jasper you're my best friend, I could never hate you!" I said and scooted closer to him, putting my hand on his back.

"I hope your right," he said and looked up at me. "Edward I really don't want to talk about it right now ok?" He said and rolled over, part of his shirt coming up to show me his well sculpted stomach. This made me remember the last camping trip we had.

_Fourth of July! The perfect time to go camping! My family Jasper and I were all taking a trip down to southern California to camp down by the beaches. It was a nice change form our beaches seeing as how it was hot, there was and instead of cliffs and rock and it was not raining. It was awesome._

_The first night mom and dad took Alice shopping leaving just me and jasper alone. "What do you wanna do?" Jasper asked me, and I had no idea. _

"_I don't know. We could go skinny dipping. I have heard that is a fun thing to do on a hot night like tonight." I suggested. I never really thought he would go for it._

"_OK," he said, taking me by surprise. We walked down to the water and I turned away from Jasper until I heard him run into the water. Then I undressed and quickly ran into the water. And what a bad idea! To just run directly into the water. It was so cold! _

_I looked around for Jasper but I didn't see him. "Jasper!" I called out and was dragged under the water. I was so dark that I didn't see the wave as it crashed down on me. So now I was stuck rolling under the water as wave after wave crashed on top of me. I couldn't breath and I was scared. I was rolling and rolling until a pair of strong arms grabbed me by the waits and pulled me from the water. _

"_Edward! Are you ok?" I couldn't respond. I felt his ear against my face. "Breathe damn it! Don't die on me! Not now," he said and he sounded like he was going to cry. He pounded on my chest until I felt water dislodge from my chest and shoot from my mouth. And then I was coughing._

"_Oh thank god!" he said and hugged me to his chest._

_When I got my voice back the first thing I said was, "Uh, Jasper?" he pulled back and he realized we were both still naked. "Mind letting me put my clothes on?" I said and he walked away from me to put his close back on._

After a while of just laying there doing our homework I got up. "All right Jasper, I say fuck homework lets go do something. It is my birthday after all."

"All right what do you want to do?"

"UH," was my brilliant idea, "I don't know."

"Well birthday boy, it's up to you." he said getting up also.

"Um, well I am fucking hungry lets go get something to eat?" I said making it more of a question than a statement.

"Sounds good to me. Lead the way birthday man!" he said pointing his finger to the sky. He really is silly sometimes.

We went down stairs and I told my mom we were getting something to eat. After leaving my house we were silent on the way to the little café in town. It gave me time to think about Jasper. To think how I cant get him out of my head lately. It is weird.

For the last few months I have noticed that he has been hanging around me more. Though I didn't think anything of, he is my best friend. And to be honest with myself I kind of liked it. Jasper was around me all of the time and I noticed a few things about him, things I am noticing now, in the silence of my new car. Like I noticed how nice he smells, how his chest moves when he breathes, like how his unruly hair moves with every move he makes.

Wow. I adjusted myself in my pants, and I hoped that movement went unnoticed to Jasper. I saw him go ridged and I really hope it wasn't because of me. I'm not gay, but sometimes when I think about Jasper I get all happy. Why does that happen? I blushed and coughed to try and hide my embarrassment.

"Everything ok there Eddie?" he said and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. He only called me Eddie when he was fucking with me.

"Fine, Jizz, lets just go eat," I said using my silly name for him. But then I really thought about the name. Jizz, and I blushed as I thought of the meaning.

We pulled up to a restaurant and went inside. Almost all eye were on us as we walked threw the dinning room and to our table. This happens a lot, ever since we were 15. I don't mean to be cocky but we are good looking guys. And everywhere we go people look, they cant help it. But today was different. As we were walking I had the urge to walk in front of Jasper, to protect him from the stares of other people.

I need help. I think I like my best friend, and he is a guy.

**Leave me a comment to let me know what you think! I am always open to ideas on how you, the reader, would like to see the story play out!**

Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Hurray for chapter 2!

JPOV

We walked into the restaurant and as Edward and I walked over to our table, everyone was staring at us. It wasn't unusual, we were good looking men. We sat down at our normal table and we were quiet. He didn't say anything and neither did I. I didn't want to talk, he could tell there was something up, but I didn't want to talk about it. Though I know I will have to eventually, he never lets anything go.

Edward sat across from me and I just sat there looking at him, and he was looking at me. I could tell by the look in his eye that he was thinking of something too. Maybe something bothering him? I was about to ask him when the waitress came by, "What can I get for you boys today?" she asked rolling her eyes, "As if you would get anything different."

She was about to walk away to place our usual orders when I stopped her, "Jessica? I actually kind of don't feel like a burger today."

"Oh! Ok, well Jasper what would you like instead?" she asked a little shocked.

"Umm, mushroom ravioli?" I said picking the first thing I saw on the menu. I hope it at least tastes ok so I can choke it down. I just don't want to be me right now. The same old boring me that always doe s the same thing, get the same food. I'm sick of him! I need a change! Ordering something different and my usual dining place was a start.

"Coming right up," she said and walked away.

"Alright, spill it. What is bothering you?" he said with an eyebrow raised.

"Nothing," I said not looking at him.

"Jasper you hate mushrooms," he said pointedly. Damn, that's right I do.

"Look I told you earlier I really don't want to talk about it right now." I said and that was that. Edward dropped it, for now.

And I really didn't want to talk about it. My father has always been an ass whole, something Edward already knows. But before school today, was different. He did nothing but yell and yell all morning. He was yelling about nothing really, until I came in the room.

"_Jasper! When are you going to do something?" he yelled as I came down the stairs._

"_What?" I asked in confusion._

"_When are you going to do something different? You always do that same fucking thing. You're worthless and boring! You have done nothing for me to be proud of! When I go to work, do you know how hard it is to hear everyone talking about how proud they are of their kids and what they have accomplished? Knowing that my kid has never done anything with his life?" he yelled and I felt the tears starting to form, and I held them back. I wouldn't want him to have something else to yell at me for. _

"_You have never done any sports or science fairs or anything! Do something! Anything! Just something that isn't in your normal routine of life! If you can call it a life!" he was still yelling, but I didn't stick around to hear what it was. I ran up stairs and grabbed my school bad, and ran out the front door. All the while my dad was yelling at me to come back. _

_Before I stepped out of the door I turned and said, "You want something different? How's this? I'm not coming back!" I said and slammed the door in his face._

It seems kind of silly now, but at the time I was fucking angry at him. And now I cant go home or it will happen again. I'm tired of him yelling at me! I do nothing to deserve it!

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt someone sit next to me and an arm went around my shoulders. "It will be ok Jasper, please don't cry."

Was I crying? I lifted my hand to touch my face and sure enough, I was crying. Well fuck! Edward had come to my side of the table to comfort me. And he didn't even know what was wrong. "Will you talk now? The suspense is killing me. What has my friend so upset he would cry in the middle of a public area?" he said and smiled at me.

"My dad's an ass," I said with a chuckle.

"Well we all know that, what did he do this time?" I retold him my story. Edward looked rather angry. "Listen, Jasper, don't let what that ass whole says, bother you. It will only make him feel like he can do it more. Don't listen to him, he is not true."

"But Edward he is!" I interrupted, "What have I done? Nothing! I haven't won anything, I never did sports or science fairs or anything! I am worthless." I said and laid my head on his shoulder. I felt him kiss the top of my head. That's weird he has never done that before.

"Jasper you are not worthless! And you do a lot. You go to school 5 days a week for 7 hours. Then you do your homework and go to work 6 nights a week. I don't find that worthless. So what, you don't do a lot, big deal. Just remember, you are working your ass off now, so you can get away from him sooner." he said and then I felt guilty, I left out the part where I slammed the door in my dads face after telling him I wouldn't be coming back.

"Uh, yeah about that. I kind of ran away today."

"What? What do you mean ran away?"

"I told my dad that I would not becoming home before slamming the door in his face. That's why I didn't notice you at first this morning. I was just so focused in leaving that I didn't see you." I said and looked away from him.

"Where are you going to go?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied truthfully. I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't have anything really. I had my school book, car keys and wallet. That's it! I didn't even have my car, just the keys! I had my dad's credit card in my wallet, I could max it out with shit I would need. Yeah that sounds good.

"You could stay with me. I'm sure Carlisle and Esme wouldn't mind," he said and I looked up at him.

"Really? Are you sure? There isn't a lot of room, I wouldn't want to be in the way or anything," I said and was starting to get excited. I had always loved Edward's adoptive parents. They were so nice all of the time.

"I'm sure it will be fine, besides, you can sleep with me," he said, gave a look, then blushed and pulled him arm away from me.

"What?" I asked.

"Uh, it's nothing, just that with the position we were in if anyone over heard our conversation they might have taken it the wrong way, you know?" he said, but it sounded like a lie. That was weird. But I agreed anyway.

"Uh, yeah. I guess you're right." and he went to his side of the table. Edward has been acting so weird lately, I'm not really sure what to make of it. Our food came then and we ate in silence, paid the bill and left. The car ride back to Edwards house was quiet and a little awkward. There was a sort of tension in the air and I wasn't really sure why.

EPOV

All through dinner I was nervous. I had come to the realization that I liked Jasper, in that kind of way. And I was ok with it. In the short time I had known, I had accepted it. My parents would too, if anything ever becomes of it. I was just worried what Jasper would think, to learn his best friend is in love with him but he not return the feelings because I'm a man. Awesome. Nothing like feeling rejected when you haven't even talked to the guy.

We walked to our table and people were staring and I was protective. I didn't want people staring at my Jasper. Wait, _my _Jasper. I like the way that sounds, but it would never happen. We sit down at the table on opposite sides of each other. We sat there just looking at each other. I could tell he was thinking something, and I will get it out of him hopefully on the car ride home. But he told me while we were in the restaurant which surprised me because Jasper doesn't like talking in such public places.

And now I was furious with his dad. Even more so than I usually am.

We ate, paid and left. The whole time I was wondering why he ordered mushroom ravioli, he hates mushrooms. We walked out of the building and he hadn't even buckled his seat belt before I was asking questions.

"So why the ravioli?"

"I wanted, no needed to be different," he said with a small voice, and looked away from me.

"Hey," I said pulling his chin towards me so I could look at his face. I put on a small smile, "you don't need to be different. I like you just the way you are," fuck I blushed. I tried to look away from him before he could see it, but I wasn't quick enough.

"Ok now you spill," he said a pointedly.

"I don't know what your talking about," I tried to detour him.

"You have blushed more today than you have your whole life. Spill! What is making you blush?" he asked and I blushed harder.

"You really don't want to know," I said letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Yes, I do. Now spill!" I sighed in defeated and thought, 'what the hell?'

"You," I said and his eyes got wide.

"What? Me? What do I have to do with anything?" he asked sounding confused. God do I really have to do this in the car? He just looked at me for answers. Fuck I guess I do.

I pulled over to the side of the road. "Edward? What are you doing? What's going?" he said sounding worried.

"I pulled over so we can talk. I didn't want to tell you this way but I guess I don't have a choice," I said and sighed. I was nervous as fuck.

"Edward? Why are you so nervous what's wrong?"

"Jasper… I…fuck I love you!" there, I said it. I did it quick, like a bandage. That's the best way to do it right?

"I love you too man, you're my best friend." Fuck, he didn't get it. I'm freaking out a little right now. I just told him I love him and he doesn't understand the meaning behind it. What do I do to make him understand?

"Edward what is going on? Your acting all…" I cut him off with a kiss. Hopefully that will get my fucking meaning across to him. I grabbed his face and pulled it to mine. I sat there pouring my love into that kiss and he didn't pull away at first. I had my eyes closed so I couldn't tell if it was shock that compelled him to stay or something else all together, until he pulled away from me roughly.

"Oh!" I waited for something else but nothing came.

"Oh? That's all you have to say?" I said a little dejected. I turned the car over. Nothing. Again, nothing. Fuck! Not a good time for engine trouble. I need to drive home and fast. I just want to crawl into my bed and cry. Fuck I sound like such a girl!

"Edward I…." he started to say but my car wouldn't start.

"Fuck!" I yelled when the engine still wouldn't start. Jasper was calling me but I still wouldn't look at him. I looked out the window. I hadn't even been paying attention to where I pulled off the road, but as I looked out the window I knew where we were.

Last spring Jasper and I had gotten really bored and decided to drive to the end of the highway and hike places we hadn't seen before. After 3 hours we thought we were lost when we came to a small meadow. We stayed there for hours just talking and hanging out. And that where we were now, at the end of the highway and to my left was the trail that led to that meadow.

I looked out the window then at Jasper and I wanted to cry. So I threw the door open and ran. I ran deep into the woods, into 'our' meadow. I had taken to calling it our meadow because we were the only ones that knew about it, I think. Never the less, I ran straight for it. I ran and ran and ran until I broke the clearing.

I sat in the clearing and let my tears fall. damn what was wrong with me? Why am I so emotional right now? I'm a man for Christ's sake! But I was alone and I had just been rejected by Jasper. He didn't say it but I knew by the way he looked at me after I kissed him. I sighed and laid down on my side, curled up a little, and I cried.

---

Fuck I'm cold!

I thought as I sat up and looked around. I must have cried myself to sleep, in our meadow. Then thoughts of why I was here in the first place came back. Why did I have to go and fuck everything up with my best friend?

_Edward!_

What was that? Who was that? I laid back down, I was cold and feeling weak. I curled my knees into my chest and held them, trying to keep warm.

_Edward!_

There it is again.

"Edward!" it said and it sounded worried. I was weak and falling back asleep and so cold that I couldn't tell who it was. All I could hear was my name and fast footsteps.

"Edward?! Edward are you alright? I have been looking everywhere for you!" the voice said. It was a familiar voice but I was falling back asleep. I felt the voice kiss my forehead and lift me from the ground. The voice had nice warm, strong arms, and I snuggled into them.

"Fuck Edward your body is freezing!" he said and I could tell who was there and carrying me. It was Jasper, my best friend. "Please Edward say something!" he yelled as he carried me away.

"Jasper?" I replied weakly. My voice sounded very harsh and scratchy.

"Oh thank god!" he sounded relieved, "I'm here baby don't worry."

That's good to know. Jasper is here and he will make everything better.

Wait, baby? I thought before slipping unconscious.

A/N: thanks fo reading and reviewing! it means a lot! But I totally think more of you lovely people should review! Please?


	3. Chapter 3

Alright! Chapter three!

EPOV

I'm warm. It's a nice feeling. Before now, I just remember being cold, so cold I couldn't move. And now I'm so warm I don't want to move. I couldn't tell whose it was, but I knew I was in a bed, a rather comfortable bed. I laid perfectly still, remembering last night. Remembering how I fucked up my friendship with Jasper. I kissed him and told him I loved him and now everything is all fucked up!

I curled myself into a ball on my side. I hugged my knees when I heard, "Edward? Are you awake?"

I lifted my head to see the source of the voice to be met with Jasper's piercing blue eyes. "Jasper?"

"Oh thank god!" he said hugging me. "You have no idea how happy I am that you are awake!"

"What are you talking about?" I looked outside and it was dark. "Look," I pushed his face to the window to my right, " it's still dark out I haven't been asleep for long." he looked at me funny. "What?"

"Edward you've been asleep all day. You have been asleep since I brought you home last night." he said and I was shocked. Had I really slept for 24 hours? "Had you been asleep any longer I would have taken you to the hospital" he said with a sigh of relief.

"Why?"

"Edward, do you remember last night?" he asked and blushed a little. All I could remember was that I loved him, kissed him, got sad and ran away from him. After that, nothing. I shook my head at him.

"Edward after what happened in the car, and you ran away. I was worried. I didn't know where you were going! After I realized you really did run into the woods, I ran after you. For hours I was looking for you. Three times I ended up back at the car. I was getting so worried about you. You left your coat in the car and it was so cold out." his shoulders shook like he was going to cry. I sat up and put my hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. "I realized where we were at this point. I went straight for our meadow and there you were. You were huddled up and shivering so hard! I didn't know what to do if I lost you." he was crying now as he flung his arms around me.

He clung to my neck like I was being pulled away from him. I just hugged him back trying to comfort him and because I liked holding him. "I was so scared."

"It's ok Jasper, I'm sorry. Please don't cry Jasper I'm ok, see," I said and pulled him away from me so he could see that I was just fine. He looked at me intensely for a minute and he brought his hand up to touch my face. "See, just fine." I said when his hand cupped my cheek. He brought up his other hand to my other cheek and pulled my face to his. Our lips touched and I was shocked, but didn't pulled away from him. Jasper was still holding my face as he tilted his head to the side, pressing his lips against mine harder. I too, returned the kiss. We were sitting on the bed kissing, and I didn't want to be any other place.

Much to my distaste, Jasper pulled away and breathlessly said, "Fuck, I have wanted to do that for a long time." he said and cupped my cheek again. I leaned my head into his touch.

"Really, why did you pull away in the car?" I asked him.

"Honestly, I was shocked you felt the same way." He said and looked away shyly.

"How long?" I asked him and he looked at me with a confused expression.

"How long what?"

"How long have you felt like that?" I asked. Had I really been so blind to his affection?

"You first," he said and rubbed the back of his neck.

"About 2 hours before dinner last night," I said and blushed.

"Wow, really?"

"Well kind of. I realized I liked you ,like that, then, but when I really thought about it, I think I have for a long time. I think that's why I had wanted to become such good friends with you." I said while, yet again blushing. He was silent for a minute, looking like he was taking it all in.

"Your turn," I said and he looked a little shaken.

"Uh, 2 years," he said smally. Two years? that's a long time to like someone without telling them. Hell I only waited 2 hours!

"Two years?" I asked, I couldn't believe it!

"Yes, two years. I realized I was gay two years ago when we started high school. It was the first day of gym, and I had a hard time looking away from everyone. I did though, it was weird you know? Not being able to look away from these boys!" he blushed at this, he looks so cute when he blushes. "that when I had started thinking I was, and the next week when _you_ transferred to my gym class I fucking knew. I couldn't keep my eyes off of your body when you changed. The way your muscles stretched and flexed when you took your shirt off," he said smiling shyly. He adjusted his pants, not so slyly. Still smiling he crawled up to me on the bed.

"That's when I realized, I liked you, in that way," he said and pressed his body to mine. I nearly groaned as I felt his erection on my leg. It was a strange feeling, seeing as how I just realized I liked a man, but it felt good the same. "And our camping trip," I blushed, "Was when I realized that I was in love with you." he liked up the side of my neck and kissed me. "When you suggested skinny dipping, I thought you might have felt the same way and I got excited, but then thought that you really could have just been bored, so I calmly accepted. And then when you didn't come up from the water when that wave hit you," he turned his head and closed his eyes as if he was trying to suppress the memory. "I was so scared. I told you, 'Don't die on me, not now.' that's when I realized I was sin love with you. And the thought of losing you wasn't an option." he said and kissed me again. He kissed me with so much love, and I felt a tear come from his face.

"Jasper? Are you crying?" I asked.

"A little bit yes. But its good, I haven't lost you, I have you," he kissed me and ground his hips into mine, earning a groan from me, "and I'm happy."

"Well," I kissed him, "I'm happy too." Kissing him was fun. He would grind into me and we would both groan and moan when a knock sounded from my door.

"Shit," I said and Jasper shot away from me. I turned to my side and curled up to hide my own erection. Jasper sat on the other side of the bed. The knee closest to the door bent up will his other was casually hanging off the side. Had I not known better, it would have looked like any other time Jasper and I had hung out.

"Come in," I said realizing I was in my room. I was so focused on Jasper I hadn't even realized where I was. Is that bad?

My mom came in then and just about lost herself when she saw I was awake, "Oh, Edward you're awake!" she hugged me. "Are you feeling alright? Edward you look a little flushed," she said and Jasper burst into laughter. He was holding his sides and had fallen on the floor.

"Uh, I'm fine," oh more than you know mommy dearest.

"Are you sure?" I nodded. "Well if your sure," is she knew I had just been under Jasper, making out with him she might not have been so understanding. I know that she would be ok with the fact I was in love with another man, but now that it came to actually telling her, I was terrified. How would my dad take it? I am his son so know he would still love me but would he think of me any different?

"Edward what's wrong?" she asked. I forgot she was still in the room. "Edward you look scared." I look over to Jasper. He looked just as worried.

"I have something I need to tell you," I said with a glance to him again and now he looked terrified. "But not now, ill tell you when I'm ready. Just the thought of tell you and dad scared me a little. Don't worry though, please, it is nothing bad. I'm not in any kind of trouble." I add when she started to open her mouth. I know her so well. She just told me to behave myself and left the room.

I looked over at Jasper, "Not ready yet?"

"It's not that, its just I don't want to think of your mom when I think about us." he said and I like how he said us. It makes it kind of official.

"So your ok with, us," I said motioning with my hand between the two of us. He leaned over and cupped my cheek.

"Of course," he said and kissed me. "Edward, I love you, all of you, here, now, in the past, in the future. I will always be yours."

"Oh Jasper, I love you too," I said and kiss him. I turned my body around and leaned up so I was over him, never breaking the kiss. "I understand you love me, and trust me when I say I love you too. But there is something I need to discuss with you." I said kissing him, yet again.

"oh cant it wait?"

"Not really," I said getting off of him, but not leaving the bed. I laid my head on his chest and said, "What are we going to do about public?" he froze. "I am ready to be with you but I am not ready for everyone to know it. Not everyone is accepting of this kind of thing." I said hopping he felt the same.

"I agree completely, I just don't know if I can keep my hands off of you. I have waited for so long to be with you and now that I am I don't really want to have to keep my hands away from you. Public is going to be hard." he said rubbing my hair back from my face.

"I know the feeling," I said sitting up again. I got up off the bed and I swear I heard him whine.

"Did you just whine?" I asked with an amused smile on my face.

"Maybe," he said and looked away with a blush on his cheeks. It was on of the cutest things. I will have to get him to blush again. "Where are you going? You really should just stay in bed, you passed out for 24 hours, you shouldn't be moving so quickly."

"I'm fine, Jasper really." I said as I got light headed and fell back on the bed.

"fine?" he said catching me in his strong arms.

"I am now," I said and pulled him down for a kiss.

**Aw, Edward and Jasper are all lovey dovey! I just want to thank those of you who are reviewing. It helps me get motivated to write more because I know people are rading and want to read! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review and let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4!!!! Yay!

Thanks to all who have reviewed! It means a lot!

I don't own anything, except for the plot.

**EPOV**

The rest of that night was awesome. Jasper had stayed the night with me and we slept in each others arms. Which was a little weird at first, but when his arms encircled me I melted into him and there was no longer any discomfort. Jasper had called his mom to let them know he was staying the night. He didn't want to tell his mom he had run away from his dads house because she would make him come live with her in Arizona. And as of right now I really don't want that. He put his phone on speaker so I could hear also.

_Ring ring_

"Hello, Whitlock residence!" he mom answered cheerfully.

"Hey mom its me. I just wanted to let you know that I am staying the night at Edwards tonight."

"Jasper, hunny not on a school night you boys will never get to sleep!" she has been telling us this ever since we met in 2nd grade. We tried every night to stay with each other, and even now, our senior year in high school, she still said the same thing. He was talking to his mother trying to convince her to let him stay with me. I sat up and started to kiss his neck and he stopped talking for a minute.

"Jasper? Are you alright?" his mother asked and I smiled into his neck.

"Uh," he was trying to control his voice so he wouldn't let anything slip, "yeah mom I'm fine. Look I'm not coming home I, Edward needs me tonight. He still isn't fully recovered from what happened and I really think I should stay with him tonight." he said and I attacked his lips.

"Alright Jasper, just make sure it is alright with your father, I love you and tell Edward I hope he feels better," she said and I stopped kissing him.

"Ok mom, I love you too bye," he hung up the phone.

"You are going to have to tell her you know," I said and kissed his neck again, I like kissing his neck.

"I know, but I want to wait until after I'm eighteen, that way I don't have to leave you." He said and kissed me. Jasper was older than I was. In three weeks time he would be 18 and he could live where ever he pleased.

"That makes sense. I don't want you to leave either." I said and returned his kiss.

The next few days where awesome. At school Jasper and I were just best friends that we had always been. But it felt a little different when the regular touches and manly hugs just meant something different now that we were together.

And at home we went at it like the horny teenagers we were; though it was only when my parents weren't around. If they had caught us like that, they would surely send Jasper away.

Jasper had been living with us for three days and my parents were talking about setting up the guest room for him, as his own bedroom. When Jasper and I both protested at the same time, my mom looked at us funny. Jasper blushed and turned away from her and I quickly spoke up.

"I mean, there really isn't any need mom. Jasper and I are comfortable in my room. What if we need the guest room and we don't have it because Jasper is there? It really is no trouble for him to stay with me." I told my mom with my own other set of dialogue in my head. _Really mom there is no need, Jasper and I are MORE than comfortable in my bed, hugging and kissing all night. There really is no need to give him the room he wouldn't be in there anyway._

Yeah that would go over well. Thankfully she agreed and was on her way. The rest of the night was a happy one until there was a knock on the door. We weren't expecting any visitors, so I was confused as I went to open the door. I opened the door to a very angry looking Mrs. Whitlock.

"Where is my son?" she said with anger in her voice. Oh shit, she must have found out that he lied and didn't tell her he wasn't living with his dad any more. She had always wanted Jasper to live with her, and only agreed for him to stay in forks with his dad for school.

"He is in the kitchen," I said and pointed down the hall to the kitchen. I stepped aside to let her in, closed the door and ushered her to the kitchen.

"Edward who was it?" I heard Jasper say as I walked into the room.

"You mother," I said with alert in my voice. He turned and looked at me like I was joking with him and was shocked to see her actually there.

"Mom? What are you doing in Washington? Was I supposed to know you were coming? Did you tell me and I forgot?" he rambled nervously. I could tell he knew what was up too, but didn't want to admit to it.

"I called your father's house yesterday to talk with you. Want to know what he told me?" she said with attitude.

"Fuck," he whispered and rubbed his hands over his face. He had done this many times before. And many times before I thought it to be sexy. But not this time. This time he was really fucked.

"Don't speak that way to me young man! Your father told me what happened! Why would you just run away like that?! And then lie to me about it!"

"Wait, mom, what did he tell you happened?" he asked. It didn't sound like she had the real story.

"He told me how you blew up on him for not being a good dad. I understand he wasn't there much and always at work, but he made sure you had clothes to ware and food to eat. He was a decent father and you just left him?" she said almost yelling. My mom came down stairs to see what the commotion was and found Jasper and his mom standing right in the middle of the kitchen.

"That's what he told you? He didn't tell you about how he was drunk? Or how he yelled at me? Or how he told me I was a worthless son and didn't deserve his fathering? Or how he was embarrassed by me? He didn't tell you any of THAT did he?" Jasper yelled and was clearly angry. "I'm sorry I lied and didn't tell you where I really was. But I wasn't going to stay at his house and continue to take that shit! I don't need it! I am almost 18 years old and I really don't think I have to!" he said and was still yelling. And all I could think was, DAMN he is sexy when he is angry! I really shouldn't be thinking like that right now but I couldn't help it!

His mom no longer looked quite as angry. She looked really sad now. Like she might cry actually. "Jasper, honey I am so sorry. I had no idea things were that bad!" she said and hugged him. I saw Jasper break and start to cry silent tears and my heart broke a little. I wished I was the one hugging him and not his mother. But he needed this. Needed his mother's affection. "Don't worry," she said smoothing down his hair, "I'll take you home with me tomorrow, where you're wanted by people who love you." she said and I blurted out:

"But I love him and he is wanted here! Don't take him from me!" I said before I could think of what I was saying. Jasper's eyes went wide and his mother's too. Shit! Not the right thing to say. "I mean….. Uh…." shit!

"What?" was all his mother said as she let go of Jasper and looked at him still confused. He looked at me and I saw panic in his eyes. Shit shit! I fucked up big!

"I asked you a question! What do you mean you love him?" I sighed and looked at Jasper. I gave him a 'we might as well tell her' look, and he nodded and walked over to where I was standing.

"I love your son," I said as I put my arm around his waist and pulled his body closer to mine. I was a bit taller than him so I couldn't really see his face, but it looked like he smiled, which made me smile.

Jasper's mom just started at us. She had a plethora of emotions on her face; shock, confusion, disgust, and anger. I understood the first three, but anger?

"Mom please say something," he begged from under my arm.

"How long?"

"Well we have been together for about a week," he said but she cut him off.

"No, how long have you _know_?" she asked.

"Oh, two years," he said and hugged my waist. I hugged him back for the support I knew he needed.

"Why the FUCK have you waited two years to tell your own mother? I can't believe this! Or allow it! MY son is not gay!" she said and stormed over to us. "YOU are coming home with me! That way I can get you away from THIS fag," she pointed at me "and make you my baby boy again!" His mother yelled and I felt like crying. Jasper was crying. She started to pull him by the arm away from me. I held tighter, until she was pulling as hard as she could to get him away from me.

"Mom! I'm not going! I love him and I'm not going anywhere!" he said holding my body to him.

"Yes you are! I am your mother and what I say goes!" she said and pulled his arm again, yanking him from me. It felt like part of me had been ripped from my body, leaving a big gaping whole.

"MOM! I am 18 years old I don't have to go anywhere!" he said reaching for me!. It was the most heart wrenching thing. He was crying, I was crying, and I wouldn't even hold him. All I wanted was to hold him and make everything better, but I couldn't.

"Jasper I still have say over you for two weeks now get your ass in that car!" she said and pointed out the door.

"EDWARD! DON'T LET HER TAKE ME! I LOVE YOU I DON'T WANT TO GO!" he crying as she pulled him out the door. I was sobbing now and ran after him. He was already in the car.

"Jasper! Jasper! Don't leave me! I'll come find you! I won't let her take you from me!" I screamed threw my sobs. I touched my hand to the glass where his was, and they drove off. I ran after the car until I hit the end of the street. The turned on to the highway and sped off. I stood there looking at Jasper as he had turned to look at me. I dropped to my knees right there and cried and held my arm out, reaching for him. All the while my own mother had witnessed everything. She followed me and was now holding my shaking shoulders as I cried harder than I have ever cried in my life.

"Don't worry honey we will get him back," she said rubbing circles on my back. I hadn't even really remembered she was there. But I did now and remembered she didn't know about us. I looked up at her in disbelief.

"You're not mad or disgusted?" I asked as I sat in the middle of the street, crying my eyes out. I must look really stupid. I looked up the street and almost every one of our neighbors where watching what just happened. Great. Now everyone knows about Jasper and I. That's the last thing on my mind right now.

"Of course not sweetie! I love you no matter who you love." She said and I threw myself into her chest and hugged her to me and cried harder. She helped me stand up to get me back home. I felt so embarrassed walking back home with my eyes full of tears and the neighbors watching.

"Everything will be ok Edward," I heard from more than one neighbor as we walked up the street and into my house. We walked up to my room and I grabbed Jasper's pillow and hugged it to me, crying even harder.

I must have cried myself exhausted, because I opened my eyes and it was morning. Well afternoon I realized as I looked at my clock and it read one o'clock pm. It had only been four days since Jasper had been sleeping in my room with me, but it already felt like it had been forever. And now that I didn't wake up next to him, my bed felt so empty without him. I grabbed his pillow and the blanket and moved to the floor. I couldn't stay on the bed without him there.

I started crying again. He isn't here. He was ripped from me.

My mom must have heard me crying again, because she came in and saw me on the floor and came over to me. She put her arm on my shoulder.

"Edward, will you come down stairs please? You need to eat something or you are going to make your self sick." she said and I nodded my head. I didn't want to eat, but I didn't want to be sick on an empty stomach more. I stood up and walked down the stairs in absolute silence. I sat at the table and did nothing.

"What do you want?"

"Jasper," was all I said. She sighed, looked at me with pity, and set to making me food. She set a plate of something, in front of me, I don't even know what it was, and I ate in silence. My mother went upstairs and I still just sat at the dining room table, looking at my now empty plate. After about an hour. I went back to the floor in my room, and cried myself to sleep again.

When I woke up it was 2 in the morning and my head was pounding.

_Knock knock knock_

Wait, that's not my head. I stood up and went down the stairs, down the hall, and to the front door. I heard crying on the other end. I flung the door open and Jasper fell into my arms_._

Thanks for reading! Reviews are ALWAYS welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

Wow! Chapter 5! I am really sorry for the long gaps between updates! I have finals for school right now and they are kicking my ass. Hopefully when the semester is over I will have more time to write!

I own noting but the plot!

Chapter 5

When Jasper fell into my arms and he was soaking wet. Sometime between me coming home and waking up to the knocking, it had started to rain. I hugged him close to me and practically had to drag him into my house. His whole body was shaking with sobs as tears rolled down his face. I collapsed onto the floor and held him while he cried. My parents had come down the stairs to see what was happening by then and were now just standing and staring and I didn't care. I have my Jasper back.

After a while he looked up at me and I looked down at him and I couldn't help but kiss him. I didn't care who was looking I needed to do it. "Jasper, how?" I said and he shook his head and he burried his face in my chest. I held him tighter, "It ok love, it will all be ok."

"Edward, I," he said but couldn't finish anything.

"Shh love it is alright you don't have to talk now." I picked him up and turned towards the stairs. My parents were still standing there. "I'm gonna take Jasper up to my room now." I said and looked at them expectantly. As if being snapped out of a trance they looked at me holding Jasper and moved out of the way. I walked up to my room and set him on the bed. It was strange, he was in a catatonic state. He wouldn't move on his own, he just sat there. He didn't respond to anything until I started to take the wet cloths off of him. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and he grabbed my wrist. I looked up at him and he was smiling.

"Now Edward," he said getting up from the bed and standing over me, "Your parents are home, and wouldnt want to catch you like this," he said and fell on top of me. I of course had no objection to this, though I was curious as to how he had come to be on top of me. He kissed me and I kissed him back. He broke away and look at he with a smile on his face, "I am so happy I am here right now," he said and went to kiss me again, but I stopped him.

"Jazz, I want to know what happened," I looked at the clock and it was now three in the morning. He didn't say anything, he looked like he was going to cry again. I pushed myself up and grabbed his face. "Jasper no! don't go there! Stay here don't cry anymore!" I said and he started to calm down.

"Jasper please you have been gone for over 24 hours. What happened?" he looked at me with sad eyes. I have never seen him that hurt…

_Jasper POV (after his mom took him from Edward. __L )_

_I sat in that fucking car for an hour before she said anything to me. I looked at the speedometer once and a while and we never went under 75 mph. So after an hour I was 75 miles away from my Edward._

"_Look, Jasper, I need to know something," she said but didn't look at me. What the hell would she want to know that she didn't already?_

"_What do you want to know?" I said with a large amount of anger in my voice, I did not look at her either._

"_I need to know what made you like…. This ," she said gesturing at me. _

"_Made me like this? Like what? Gay? Its ok mom you can say it!. Your son is gay!" I yelled and looked at her face. She looked like that last statement hurt her. Good! _

"_Was it something I did? Your Father? Please Jasper tell me so we can get you some help!" she said finally looking at me, and then back to the road._

"_Are you serious? Mom, nothing made me like this! This is just what I am. I am gay, I am Jasper!"_

_She hit me. She has never hit me before._

_I just looked at her in shock. My mother just hit me! _

"_Jasper… honey… I …"_

"_don't"! I said holding back tears. I opened the car door and ran towards the woods. She wouldn't have known it but I knew exactly where I was. I tore threw the woods towards the only place I wanted to be. Edward. I could hear my mother shouting for me to come back, that I would get hurt. Well I was already hurt! My mother had yanked me away from my life and my Edward and then hit me! _

"And so now here I am. With you, where I want to be," he said and just looked at me. My poor Jasper! I hugged him tightly and started to cry. No sobs or anything, just tears I couldn't control.

"Edward? Are you crying?" he asked me and I just hugged him tighter and burried my face into his neck. I can believe this happened to him. He pulled me away from him and looked into my tear filled eyes.

"Edward, love, its ok. I'm fine, see," he held his arms to the side so I could see he wasn't hurt. "Please stop crying Edward, please," he said and place a chaste kiss on my lips. I looked up at him and grabbed his face and brought it back to mine for a not so chaste kiss.

"Jasper you walked threw the woods for so long! Of course your not ok! You must be exhausted!"

"Edward, love I am, and I did it so I cold be with you again," he said and watched me. For my reaction. I hope he liked it. I grabbed him by the neck and slammed my lips to his. I quickly licked his lip and he opened them for me. I explored his mouth and lied him back on the bed.

"Jasper, I know it hasn't been very long since we have really been together but I love you. So much. You going through all of that for me… makes me speechless. I don't know what to say but… I love you!" I said and kissed him again. But not before I heard him say,

"I love you too, beyond friendship." my heart swelled and I started to take his shirt off.

In the morning I was as happy as I could be. I thought I had dreamed everything that happened last night, but when I woke up with a naked Jasper in my arms I knew it wasn't. I held him tighter and snuggled into the top of his hair with a happy smile. I couldn't see his face but I could hear him say my name and sigh as he snuggled into my chest. I don't know if he was awake or not but I was happy. I had my Jasper.

I could hear my mom coming down the hallway. I didn't want her to see us like this so I woke Jasper.

"Jasper, love, wake up. My mom is coming and I don't want her to see us naked in bed together." I smiled and kissed his head.

He shot up and away from me. I frowned at this but then remembered my mother coming closer and closer to my room. He grabbed my pajama pants and t shirt while I grabbed his. Neither one of us realizing we had the others clothing. My mom had made a makeshift bed on the floor for Jasper before she bid us goodnight (not that it was used), so Jasper hurriedly got into it. He had just stopped moving when the door opened and my mom peaked her head threw.

"OH you boys are awake! I was just coming to check on you and to let you know I made banana pancakes! I know they are your favorite Jasper." she said with a smile.

"That they are Mrs. Cullen thank you, for everything." he said and stood to hug her. The blanket fell off of him and I noticed he was wareing my clothes, and I his. Uh oh I hope she didn't notice! That's an awkward conversation I don't want to have with her…

If she noticed she didn't say anything. Then I thought of something that I hadn't before.

"Mom?"

"Yes dear?" she said and turned to me.

"Where's dad?" I hadn't seen him since the day before Jasper was taken from me. I tried not to think about that day.

"Well, Edward, he had to go visit mama Cullen. She isn't doing well…" she said but trailed off at the end. It is weird to think that she wasn't doing well. The woman was 80 years old and as fit as a race horse!

"What's wrong with gram?"

"Cancer," was all my mom said behind her tears.

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I know it has been forever since I updated and I'm sorry! Please review!? If you don't I understand… but I would still love for you too!


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